Lately I cant sleep I find my self thinking to much and wondering about many things sometimes as well I want to speak out but my fingers can't type fast enough and my mouth contains no words and my being can only handle so much from the synapses firing in my brain and so much is lost in the transition of my transcriptions much to my shirgrin I cant speak but typing helps sometimes and I find my self using the word sometimes to much wtf is up with that. sometimes...*smacks hands* there are moments where I would like to talk to a person, could be any person and just ask them "hey how the fuck have you been what’s going on" ya know having conversations in my head as to what the other person might say and such thank god there not conversations with my self that would even freak me out but maybe I play out these scenarios to cover that fact up possibly...who knows. I look in the mirror sometimes...*shakes head* and see a man at times he is unfamiliar and looks blankly back at me I wonder what he would think if him self if he had the possibility to meet him self in the past, would he spoil all that life has to offer and all its infinite possibilities of what could be, or would he sit back confidently and gaze on as he watches the man travel the path he has taken. I concern about my boy back home lately he tells me things now keep in mind he has told me many things over the years most things don’t surprise me anymore but I feel...I wish I was there for him back there on that path I diverted from all those years ago in order to set out on my own adventure...ill end that thought process. I wish I had a smoke I find my self smoking more lately but I think my figure is increasing to...perhaps I worded that wrong I find it becoming more...appeasing, yes that will work. but of course there are apparent things I don’t like about my self...for instance my teeth are falling out of my head it would seem, I feel compelled by that line in fight club where he says "even the moaning Lisa is falling apart" haha yeah...but why am I writing here? I don’t know only a few people I know have access to this page so it really doesn’t matter those who know me know i am not completely right in the head or perhaps I just say that who knows. I think I might have heard a quote somewhere before that genius is touch by insanity or something along those lines. For those who have never had a chance to read my writing like this should read my MySpace journal lol I even look back on what I write sometimes and laugh. So here tonight in this late night hour I grant you all an audience. Typing or transcribing my thoughts sometimes calms me down, which in it self is a good thing. I found my self playing with photoshop tonight trying to make...something at times creativity strikes me other times it leaves me hanging like a man on a noose tonight it was the latter of the situations what can I say not everything is a master piece work of art *shrugs* of course there are things I wish I was better at I am sure we all do but its those things that will keep you occupied learning them in order to prefect your art I am sure if I did honestly know it all I would be infinitely bored or getting in to trouble...what can I say again i am no saint. I know one thing for certain ill be a wreck at work tomorrow haha yeah. that’s another thing lately I just don’t want to get up in the morning I just lay there eyes closed dreading facing the day not wanting to do anything like its not worth it but for what ever reason I still rise but I surely tell you there are days that I could just lay there all day and not have the desire to do anything at all...*applauds* if you surely got this far you deserve it. I will close now in my typical fashion by thanking each and everyone of you for your time and hope that all of you have a splendid and wonderful night I will be hoping for all of your well beings as well *bows*

Ronin-Zero

Out...